A Fair's a Fair's a Fair...

The smell of fried twinkies fills the air along with the wonderful stench of livestock and woodchips. Booths of fresh-squeezed lemonade line the midway. Rides, games, stuffed-animals, everywhere you look. A 100 degree sun shining on pavement as masses of people make their way from booth to booth. Anyone who has grown up in America knows exactly what I'm describing...the State (or county) Fair! In my travels across the country, I have come to know that there is one insurmountable truth that connects the Atlantic to the Pacific and all the peoples in between. No, it's not a love for our humble president George W (those darn liberals ruin that!); but the truth that the State Fair remains the sole societal function that draws WT, gansters, blue collar, and white collar Americans all together to enjoy the same event!

On Sunday afternoon I had the pleasure of attending the California state fair. It was over 100 degrees and I chose to go at the dumbest time of day...2:00 p.m. when the sun is in all it's fury! For those of you who know me and my affinity to fried food, it shouldn't take too much convincing on how much I was looking forward to all the junk food I would have an excuse to eat! I began by eating a Tri-tip bbq sandwich (tri-tip is California's low-end beef cut) and a grilled ear of corn on the cob. It was scrumptious! I followed it by a fried Coke. This was a new thing to me, but "fried" anything will work for me. It was Coca-cola with batter and then fried. There was no liquid in it, and it tasted like a funnel cake just with a tangy Coke flavor. I voiced to my friend Matt how great all this food is. His reply was, "wait until it's coming out the other end in an hour!" Well, it only took 20 minutes for me. I spent about 20 minutes in a stall perspiring profusely in the 100 degree heat wishing I had never tried the fried Coke! As I walked around, I couldn't help but scoff at the dumb people who had left their air-conditioned homes to be out and about in the 110 degree radiation reflecting off the black pavement. But then I remembered I was one of those dumb people! Oh well, I've always been able to point my finger at others easier than at myself!

After having time to reflect on this American truth that I discovered, I came up with a brilliant idea...If the Presidential election were held at the State Fairs, there would be 100% voter turnout! Yes, I can see it now...Hillary presenting some sort of unintelligent (a.k.a. liberal) plan for universal health care while encouraging all her constituents to indulge themselves in fried Cokes and funnel cakes...silly liberals!